hear me

i wait.
i have been waiting so long to watch absolutely nothing happen.
and yet here i sit, waiting?
how do i still hold on to this hope?
a hope that something i cannot see or hear or touch will come and save me.
so many nights i feel as though i have talked to air.
so many nights i have poured out my heart only to awaken to another day just that same.
how long do i have to wait until something happens.
i wait and i wait and i wait for nothing.
no signs of help.
not even the faintest glimmer of hope that it is going to be okay, like i tell myself.
instead, it gets worse.
every day it gets worse.
i cry louder and louder only to hear the echoes bounce off empty walls.
it's only me and the air here.
i wait in pain.
i wait in sadness.
i wait in agony.
i dont even know what for.
but still i wait.
i try to convince myself that somewhere in this vast empty universe there are ears -
ears that hear my never ending pleas.
and some day those ears will carry my words into a head where they will resound.
and then something, anything.
a change. some help. a hand.
i sit here waiting for invisible ears to hear my cry.
for an invisible hand to come lift me up.
am i mad?
so long i have waited and cried out to something i don't even know is there.
so long i have held on to this hope that there is something more than this
even when i cannot even sense to the slightest degree that it's there.
is this madness?
if madness it is, then i choose madness.
for this madness brings me hope.
i would rather be mad with hope than living in a world that means nothing.
for it would be worse to be sane in a world that brings pain
than to be mad in a world covered by hope.

so for now, i choose madness -
a madness with hope that someday these words will no longer echo off barren walls to return to my ears empty, but that they will fall on ears that care enough to come and help me.